Blocked Thoughts

I haven't had much to say lately. That's a good thing too...because part of my usual new year, new me thingy is to do less talking & more listening! 

There's something to be said for sitting back & letting life be your teacher. If you don't offer an opinion you can't be wrong. Plus I've come to believe that the less you say the more people listen ;) 

We shall see! Happy New Year fans & fanatics...keep coming back to see me & if you feel rich donate too. 

Train Thoughts

Lately I've been thinking about, discussing & riding on trains. It may seem silly to want to blog about them but I do love to travel by rail!

The first time I ever rode a train would have been in 1982 when my family vacationed at Disney world resort in Orlando, Florida. It was one of many wonderful vacations I was lucky to have as a child. Perhaps technically the monorail I rode there wasn't a train per se, but it was close enough for little 10 year old Eva!

My next train ride (if we exclude the one at Mill Mountain Zoo, Lakeside & Kings Dominion) would have been to visit a relative in Florida. That time I went alone. I was only 14 but I felt so grown up! 

The city in which I live, Roanoke, VA, happens to be home to the greatest number of rail crossings in the entire country...but sadly it's been years since passenger rail service was offered here. Coming soon!  

In the meantime when we want to visit DC & disembark in the beautiful & historic Union Station, we must head 2 towns over. Well worth it but we are anxiously awaiting the return of passenger trains to Roanoke. 

Every night as I fall asleep I can hear those coal cars rolling down the tracks...so relaxing. Where are they headed? Wouldn't it be fun to hop a train! What's that I hear off in the distance? A train whistle :) Sweet Dreams, Roanoke! XoXo ~ Eva Elisabeth Brown

Closing Thoughts

As I post this blog from my iPhone I've come to fully realize how much I hate computers & people who are obsessed with them. This weird wacky worldwide web is one insane place. If you hang out here too much you'll catch the disease.

Anyhoo, the point of this quick post is not to endorse Apple products ;) tho I do love this thing! But to announce to all so called trolls that I have tapped out, guise! 

Seriously, all jokes aside I really wanna live a normal online life, make a few pennies, chat with my friends & post pics of me & my cats & be left alone. Thank you in advance for cooperating! Peace be with you.

Now, I'm going back out into reality :) if you don't like me block me & I'll return the favor....from now on the only person I will write about will be myself (& my little cats too).

Hairy Thoughts

Happy Friday! Enjoy my take on problems in this video blog about my hair, lol...things that matter to me (& sometimes internet crazies too so let's talk about it). 

Eva ELisabeth Brown: I have 99 Problems but my hair ain't one! Good luck with your hair...

Narcissistic Thoughts

I'm glad I learned to swim when I was a girl, cos I'd surely have drowned by now! This is one of my favorite pictures of myself. Imagine if there were 2 of me? wow that'd be a fine thing. I'm sure we'd understand each other so well & be the best of friends.

What would be most fun is if my other ME could be like 5 years younger. I'd give her so much good advice, then I'd revel in the perfection with which she met all her goals, did it all just right & became the woman I knew I should always have been! Instead of the deeply flawed woman I am.

But alas this is only a fantasy & there will always & forever be but one ME. You can't be me & if you wanna be me, well you don't have much going on in your life. Still, there are people out there who LOVE to mimic my every move, message me relentlessly & constantly try to insert themselves into my life.

To those people I say, sorry. The door is now & will forever be closed to you. I don't go back & repeat old mistakes (not with women anyhoo hint hint), once I learn you're too crazy for my scene, I cut you off forever. This would apply to a real friend, or a family member & it certainly applies to total strangers online who know NOTHING about me, my family, my marital status or what I care about.

The one thing I will tip you off to, & this is free advice so take it: (My granny says always take free stuff!) No one on the internet can ever affect me, but I do enjoy watching you try. I wonder to myself, 'how much of her time does she spend thinking about me? how many times has she typed my name?' & that makes me giggle.

The best view you'll ever get from me is my back, which I turned on you long ago, pest.

Reputable Thoughts

In 2009 I left my job at Elizabeth Arden & for a time I was unemployed. To be honest, at 1st I didn't know what to do with myself. All my friends still had jobs & my children had both started school. My ex husband & I were living in Wilmington, N.C. & I spent most days watching TV, walking to & from Carolina Beach & playing Sodoku or Wii Sports. Then, the Casey Anthony trial began & I was glued to HLN. Vinny Politan was annoying & I remembered I had made this account on twitter....& so began my love/hate affair with social media. 

When I decided to send a sarcastic tweet to Mr. Politan, "I wish you would eat a 5 lb. bag of sugar & die," little did I know that one sentence would change my life...probably not for the better but c'est la vie. Trust me, people, I had no idea I was so called 'trolling.' Honest! I was just being myself: Eva Elisabeth Brown. 

That one little tweet would cement my reputation online as a troll, which I am most assuredly not. I will admit that I do like it when people get mad...especially ignorant people. I was of the opinion that the housewives at the school bus stop were more concerned about the looks of Casey Anthony than the fact that she MIGHT have killed her child. That is all I was ever trying to say...then it snowballed into something more. 

I ended up meeting a few other angry people who had a lot of free time to spend online. All of them were males & I guess men tend to like me...I'm a man's woman so to speak. Of course, I should have been wise enough at 38 to realize that men should have jobs, & not be online all day & night teasing stay at home mothers, even if they are fat, ugly or of sub par intelligence. Furthermore, these men were predatory & in no way should I have ever trusted them or considered them, 'friends.' 

After a time I found better things to do, like arts & crafts, charity work & now I've begun to work a real job again, but I can't seem to shake those old trolls I used to hang out with. I have a feeling they're still pretty angry, broke & haven't moved on the same way I did, which is too bad for them, me & all the other people they spend their time harassing for fun. I totally get it that people take their anger & frustrations out on others, especially on the internet, but one should really wake up to the fact that eventually they have to move on or die. 

Hopefully one day I will be allowed to have a normal internet life...like all the other mothers at the bus stop. I still don't hate Casey Anthony or any other pretty woman, cos I like myself, my looks & my life too much to be a hater of other females. I'm sorry I was ever associated to those kind of people cos I'm not like them. I sleep at night, talk to real people, shop, work, have hobbies, watch TV...basically I decided that I can't live inside this machine on my lap & adjusted back to living in the real world. 

There's exists a balance between real life & social media...thank goodness I found it. Now, if only I could get a better reputation online & people would forget I ever knew those loser guys who messed up my mind, dragged me into bad things & took advantage of my naivete. 

Second Thoughts

Did I once say I loved trolls? Yeah, maybe I did, maybe I still do...maybe it's more the stalkers I'm sick of...or are they the same thing? All I know is if you're too high profile online you get a few freaks tagging along for the ride. 

Let me 1st say that being popular on the internet is no great accomplishment. Oftentimes that kid you never noticed...the dark one, the weird one, the smart one...will blow up online. Cos this is where we excel: In the land of thoughts & ideas. Not saying others don't do well here, perhaps the guy or girl who was hot back in high school & still is well liked on Facebook. But some of us simply excel at this social media thing based on our own creative writing, comedy & so on. Don't hate me! If you got this much attention you'd be right beside me & you know it. 

Sadly not all those who spend their lives on the fringe blossom on the web, but they do get behind the keyboard. They sometimes end up feeling even more outcast spending most of their time online attacking others. So go ahead, be a troll if it floats your boat. I might still be one...but I don't think so. I don't really think I ever was one to be honest...I'm simply outspoken, misunderstood & brash. Trust me internet people, it's not an act I put on for you, I'm this way everywhere I go. 

Of course I don't care if some elderly loner or nerd or hateful housewife wants to call me fat, old, ugly, dumb, dingy, crazy or wtf else you think I am. Go ahead but move along! I'll forget you fast. I have a short attention span...think of a gnat ;) 

What I do care about is the attacking fake accounts, blogs, nasty posts & comments. It's bad to do that, it makes you garbage if you do that. It's not only childish but obsessive & obsessive about the thing you say you hate. Oh & they will always know it's you. Trust me on that. Even someone such as myself really only picks up one stalker/internet crazy at a time...99% of people get mad & get forgotten.

Being a victim of internet stalking can scare you & make you want to avoid your computer & phone. I've had lots of people ask me why I still enjoy social media after the experience I've had with a stalker...but you can't let the terrorists win. True story, not kidding at all. Also I find (& I'm sure others who go through it will tell the same story) that most people really empathize with what you're going through & your popularity will soar because of it. I'm lucky to have made so many supportive friends & it was all worth it to me....as painful as it may be. 

Changing Thoughts

Acceptance
Being undefined
Feeling the distance
In life changing times

Pleasures denied
Could not discern
Would not abide
Life took a turn

Came upon you
Yet did not find
The ending of blue
In the sand is a line

Here with me
A feeling so true
The blind can see
Lessons for you

The road is long
To be never alone
New arms are strong
Pull the sword from stone

2012 Thoughts

2012, what a year! It's not been easy to narrow it down to 3 topics, but I think I chose fairly well. First of all the election, then I decided on Facebook next & the final topic will be...gadgets. So, here's what I thought was trendy last year.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought about the election & it's effects on America last year. Friends arguing? All the divisions, to me it seems that we're more polarized than ever. Everything was one way or the other among most of my friends & people go even farther online with what they say. There was little agreement. I kept mostly quiet...but on the inside I felt a little stressed. Allow me to say this: I think we should keep more to ourselves when it comes to political opinions. Sure, I know you have to do your thing, express your freedom, help the cause, but there's always an argument waiting to happen. Would it hurt us to ease up in social situations when discussing politics? 

Now some lighter fare: Facebook. A guilty pleasure, similar to reality TV. Of course the fact that it went public in 2012 was the reason I decided to mention it. I do think that was a major development & for one of the first times ever I'm following the stock market. I love to use Facebook. It's a fun site. I can't deny it, nor would I try. I use it almost everyday & always say I see it as my diary. However, it can be addictive & when looked at from an outsider's point of view, it is a rather odd pastime. We are putting ourselves on display there & it's not real...not like what's out in the real world. Still, get on board & enjoy it because I think this is only the beginning of social media. It is not a fad. 

Finally I think gadgets are something we're all getting more familiar with. Many of them access the internet too, even cameras. I know my children have gotten older & last year I noticed them using devices such as smart phones & tablets...a step up & new addition to the handheld games of days gone by. The world is becoming more & more technological. All the news coverage about the lastest & better phone, this brand vs. another, it's really had me interested. I may have to upgrade mine again soon...

These have been my thoughts of 2012. Here's hoping we all, everyone in the whole wide world, will have a better year in 2013. I know that I personally am doing my part to make it a banner year. Good luck to you & may you do the same!  

Vengeful Thoughts

More & more all the time I'm amazed at the ability of internet people to maintain grudges & carry on with silly vendettas for months at a time. Admittedly, I myself have engaged in the practice of warring with a fellow computer person, someone who only existed inside this machine or at the end of a telephone connection, but still...I'm amazed.

Looking around I see that I'm not the only person this happens to either. I regularly see my fellow internetters engaging in computer battles. It's hard to resist. Every time I find a new fake profile of myself, a slanderous mention on some shameful site, or lately even the attacks on my precious boys posted at stupid blogs, I feel enraged, furious & hopeless....even sometimes momentarily wishing I could physically reach out & hurt these people back.

We must however learn to realize that the internet is not a real place. This is a digital world. It's sad that cyber bullies & stalkers desire to ruin it for the rest of us, but hopefully soon there will be change. I would like to see it come sooner rather than later, but I've been told it's years away at best. I wish my children might one day be able to use computers, phones, tablets & game consoles to access the wonderful world wide web in a safe & pleasant way. Internet pranks are not like the harmless pranks of children. Internet pranks leave traces everywhere & they're not easily removed.

Remember, freedom is a beautiful thing, but there's not a better example of how high the price we pay for freedom is than the abuse that is allowed to occur online. Of course, free speech is not the same as hate speech & the cruel profiles that myself & some of my very dear friends have been subjected to recently are not free, they're hate filled & the cost is high. Far too high.

Sunny Thoughts

I'm waterlogged walking this sandy beach

To see the morning sun rise

The water is warm & so are my feet

I found the perfect cove that nobody knows

The rocky walls enclose

I sit down to listen to the calm

The wind blows the palms

The hermit crabs crawl

The coconuts fall

The seagulls call

Everything goes quiet across the horizon

As the sun begins to break before my eyes

They awash in tears

Waves wash away my fears

Sunrise has made everything clear

Hater Thoughts

As my online presence has grown, I've learned that being popular online will bring out the haters in droves. Haters are people who are miserable in life & want to take it out on you. The trick to dealing with them is to not let them take what you have & they don't. Those things are success, happiness & friends.

Success anywhere will make people grow jealous of you. It's a sad fact that not everyone will be happy when you do something they can't. No matter that it was your hard work that brought about the success, they won't see that. All they see is that you have something they will never have.

Happiness is the hardest thing to hold onto when you're being attacked by legions of haters, but it can be done. All you have to do is try to picture the people who dish up hate to you & imagine what it's like for them, focusing all that energy into someone they feel they despise. Never ever sink to their level. If you do what they do you're the same as what they are & you won't be happy anymore because you'll be like them, miserable. Rise above them, stay happy & keep smiling.

Friends matter. My friends have been with me every step of the way, teaching me new things, holding my hand when I'm sad, laughing with me when I'm happy. I figured out a while back that you need friends & you should appreciate them & remain loyal, always. True friends are hard to find.

Remember, people get brave online. It's easy to hide behind a computer & do very cruel things anonymously. The people who do it are sad, miserable people who are alone & most likely mentally disturbed. Never let them take what matters to you. Hold on to success, happiness & friends. They don't have that & it's the catalyst for all their evil actions. All famous people have haters. If you look on twitter for example, you will find numerous hate accounts directed at people as high up as the president of the United States. Do you think he cares about some parody account on social media? I'm guessing he does not.

Wandering Thoughts

Today someone said that I was trying to "find" myself. Normally I don't listen to much of what other people say, it's my nature I suppose, I'm a talker, not a listener. However, this little tidbit reached me & I've spent the rest of the day thinking about the fact that someone figured out what's been going on with me for the past year of my life. I'm trying to find out who I am now that I've reached the middle.

Last year, I felt the big 4-0 approaching & I made some mistakes trying to be something I could never be. I'm a conservative person, liberal in my politics but no where else. Trying to be anything aside from who I fundamentally am was a bad decision, & it ended up making me sad. I'm someone's wife & the mother of 2 boys. That can't change so whatever else I do, those 2 things are going to have to be a part of it.

My decision to become a blogger was not a mistake. Blogging is a terrific outlet for me & fits nicely into my life. The Facebooking & tweeting, & journaling before that, was a less organized form of the blogs I do these days. I love to write & even if I'm not the best at it, people are reading it & that's all I've ever wanted. Thanks. You could say I've found myself in one sense, but I'm still looking so there must be more.

Now, out of the blue, has come the idea to get some chickens. I need more to do outside & after reading about urban farming, checking city ordinances & costs to build coops, I think this can succeed. The plan now is to find out if I'm a farmer too. My friends probably think I've finally lost it, or this is another manic episode, but no. This is genius & best of all, urban farming can include my husband & sons for a change. Not to mention it's all going to be blogged about on Urban Farming with Eva ELisabeth.

What I'm saying is that my friend was right, I am trying to find myself. Hopefully soon I'll stop finding new things because, wife, mom, blogger & farmer sounds like enough for one person. Of course I do still want to make a few more videos for youtube...add filmmaker to the list I guess. Wow.

Ascending Thoughts

Today I rode a bike for the first time in a few years. It was so much fun & brought back all kinds of fond memories from the past. The feeling of riding along with the wind in my face, I can't describe the joy. The feeling of encountering a hill that was too steep brought other feelings, but they weren't bad ones necessarily.


When I came to my first steep hill I had to get off & push up it. This made me realize how much life is like riding a bike. When you're going downhill everything is easy & fun but when you have to climb to the top of the hill things are a little bit harder. In life, just like on the bicycle, sometimes you may have to get off to push.


From now on that's the way I'm going to look at the hard times I have, like a hill I simply need to climb so I can ride back down the other side. This last year hasn't been easy, but it seems to be getting better. In other words, I'm riding down the hill right now. Perhaps soon, I'll have to get off & push again, but that's okay, I'll still get where I'm going.

#FollowFriday Thoughts

Yesterday I took part in #FollowFriday on twitter. It wasn't the first time I did this, but it was the first time I really recognized the benefits of this awesome way to make new friends on the website we all know & love, twitter. I've learned that you can boost your mentions, meet all kinds of new people & gain followers at the same time.

I don't use automated tweeting apps on my twitter account @evablogger. Yes, I've tried them but I go on twitter to send personal messages & reach a wider audience than I can with my Facebook & blogs. Many do use lazy shout out & other popular apps for #FollowFriday mentions, nothing wrong with that, but since I was personally managing my twitter, I was able to really see the results when I joined in with those who mentioned me. I had well over 200 mentions & almost 100 retweets yesterday. We all love that!

Not only did I get record mentions on twitter this #FollowFriday I made a lot of new twitter friends. Yes, I call them friends. I may never meet them in real life, but if you follow me, like my fan page or join my blog, I consider you to be a type of friend. When you support my online industry, you support my family & that makes you some kind of a friend. Ask me for help or advice & you're going to get it.

My twitter following grew by a solid 200 accounts as well. Sure, I have over 100 thousand followers & I'll not deny it's impossible to interact with each one, but 200 adds is nothing to sneeze at & I'm grateful to each one of them. If you follow me I appreciate it & anyone that needs something from me there, need only ask & I'll give my best response. If that's not a friend of some sort, I don't know what one is.

Join all of us on twitter & tweet your twitter friends on #FollowFriday. It's one of the most popular trends out there. Never forget, twitter is King when it comes to social media. Trends are powerful marketing tools even if you only want to market yourself. Don't forget to add #FollowFriday to your Friday mentions to promote yourself & your #TwitterFriends Let's see if we can start a new trend!

Summer Thoughts

As Summer approaches, I've decided I need a break from indoor activities like blogging, twittering & Facebooking. These are all very fun cerebral activities & they are an excellent way to pass the time when snow covers the ground & the cold wind blows, but recently I opened my windows in the back room where I spend so much time & remembered, it's Springtime now.

Every year I grow a garden. I love to plant tomatoes best. I can never grow enough. They are so easy to give away or can. I have a few other things I like to grow & each year I try my hand at something new. Last year it was peppers. What will it be this time?

Hiking is another way I like to spend my time when it's warm. I live just above the River, it's about 2 blocks down the road. The city in which I live, during more prosperous times, constructed an elaborate greenway along the river & it's so nice to walk there. Why sometimes I even get caught up & find myself all the way across town. I can't wait to do that again. The treadmills at the gym simply do not offer the same pleasures as walking outdoors.

Finally I'll be looking forward to getting some sun by the pool. Last year the pool warmed up so fast we were swimming in May. I don't expect the same to be true this year, but I'll be in there by June. June isn't so far off & swimming is such a pleasurable activity. It's hard to get pool time once school is out, but I'll fight a bit harder than usual this year.

Basically what I'm saying is this may be my last blog for a while. Maybe I'll be inspired by a rainy day, but really, I hope not. I love the outdoors & I'm ready to catch up with my old friend. If you're looking for me, don't message me, I'll be in my garden, pool or strolling along the banks of the river.

Online Thoughts

Lately I've not been myself online or in my real life. The fact is I'm very disturbed by events that are unfolding due to my bad decisions regarding who I trust online. It's been almost a year since I first began to actively use social media. I made my Facebook & twitter accounts on April 16, 2009, but rarely used them until last Spring. The very first person I met on twitter would teach me many lessons about the value of online privacy.

Never send out pictures of yourself to anyone. I fell for lines like, "I bet you're not even a girl, you're a dude on a troll account," & "I just get curious about what the people I talk to all day look like." They may seem to be the nicest or most interesting person you've met, but trust me, people online are 99.9% of the time not what they seem to be. It's so easy to be whoever you want to be behind a screen name & very few people are satisfied to be themselves. You cannot trust them.

Avoid telling your exact location if possible. A little bit of privacy goes a long way. Most of us live fairly public lives, but your information is out there for people to find. It really isn't that hard to do. If you'd like to see how easy it is, start searching yourself sometime. My guess is you'll be shocked by what you find & how easily you find it.

The best advice I can give is don't get too close with anyone you meet on the internet. Trust your first instincts about people, they're usually right. No need to be desperate for internet friends because there is an abundance to choose from. The beautiful thing online is that you can reach the world.

Roanoke Thoughts

I live in a quaint little southern city called Roanoke. We are located in the Commonwealth of Virginia & happen to be the busiest commercial center west of Richmond. This will not be a blog about facts, however, at least not that kind. I'm going to share some facts that show how charming Roanoke really is.

Downtown Roanoke is a wonderful place to spend time. I don't live far away & visit there often during the day & the night. You're always perfectly safe & will find a wealth of locally owned restaurants & shops to choose from. The scenery is beautiful, the people are friendly & the produce on the Farmers Market is the freshest around. You can find museums, art & entertainment by walking a few steps in any direction. Downtown Roanoke has it all.

Roanoke also has lovely parks to visit & the Mill Mountain Zoo. The zoo is fun for children & adults alike. It is home to almost 100 animals & there is a train to ride. Adjacent to the zoo is the Roanoke Star, which happens to be quite a sight to see. This is the world's largest free standing man made illuminated star & it's visible for 60 miles. The star, also known as The Mill Mountain Star, sits more than 1,000 feet above the Roanoke Valley & offers a view of Roanoke not to be missed. Oops, there I go with those facts again.

 I could go on forever listing the virtues of Roanoke VA, but my blogs are designed to be brief. We should all spend more time exploring the place we live. I did & it prompted me write this as an appreciation for the city in which I reside. We have everything in Roanoke & those of us who live here are lucky.

Sugary Thoughts

Lately I've been feeling misunderstood. I'm really such a sweet person, but I find it hard to show that side of myself. We all have different sides, let's assume for the art of the narrative that I have three. One part of me is nice, another is honest & the third is a cynic. Allow me to elaborate.

Like most I know I want to be nice, to serve the greater good & not waste my life away on nothingness. Helping others, exuding positive energy & making fond memories on a daily basis. This is how I want my life to be. This is the person I try to be. Fail? Not really, 33% is all I can give.

I also like to think I'm honest. Honest doesn't mean you have to be hurtful or tell your entire life story, it means I'll own what I do & say. Am I ever wrong? Of course, we all are. Maybe I'll admit it, maybe I won't, 33% is all I have to give.

Third, I'm quite the cynic. Given the world we live in most of us likely are. I can still be a sweetheart while expecting less than sunshine & rainbows. This is allowed. I like my humor dry & I may laugh when others won't. It's okay, it's only 33% of me.

The 1% that's left is in the sugar bowl, so sweetness wins out. If only everyone could be a fan of mine, the world would be a perfect place for me. Oh well, I'll just keep being 34% perfect & consider that a passing percentage.

Troll Thoughts

So often I hear the word troll used as an insult, but I love trolls. The cute dolls, the mythical ones & the ones on the internet. I think they're all cute & never want them to go away. Trolls are great, you could say I'm a lifelong troll groupie. They've always had a presence in my life & apparently plan to continue to maintain one. It's okay, they serve a purpose. The dolls bring me happiness & luck, the mythical ones entertain me & the ones on the internet pay attention to me. I love trolls.

As a child I know for sure I had a few trolls. They were a hot item. I never liked dolls, however troll dolls were the exception. Perhaps it was fate or it could have been the fact that I read The Hobbit before they were introduced. Some called them ugly, not me, they're cute. These trolls topped my pencils & sat by my bed, always watching, that's what trolls do. I blew on their heads for luck. The more trolls you had the luckier you were. These trolls were my friends just like the mythical ones in books & games had been. I love trolls.

The latest kind of troll in my life is on the internet & even I can be this kind if you motivate me. Lulz, trolls are always good, even this brand. If not for trolls, who would read my posts? No one, that's who & they do get read, I know because I check. I have learned so much from these guys. The lessons range from don't post TMI to don't e-mail sexy pictures to ANYONE. Yes, internet trolls have taught me a lot & I love them all too.

This has been an open professing of my love for trolls. I'm a troll, you're a troll, we're all trolls. I embrace my inner troll & use it as needed. Embrace your's too! Trolls are fun, furry, lucky, cute, happy, tenacious, famous, long lasting & much needed. I could go on & on, but my point is this: I LOVE TROLLS!